An old manuscript of mine has been in my thoughts a lot lately. It’s one of five that I sent last week to my new agent. As with the other four, I’m counting on her to be rational and objective about its quality and sales potential in a way that I can’t. But it’s also very different from those other manuscripts, and from everything else I’ve ever written.
In June 2002, when our son S was 3 1/2, his little brother D was stillborn. Within a week I was looking for a picture book that might help S make some sense of what we were going through. While some came close — including one by my friend Annette Simon that has since brought S comfort — none of those books quite fit our awful situation.
So I wrote one myself. And my story did what it was supposed to do. It played back for S a lot of the things he told us he was feeling, and a few things that I could assume he was feeling. It made him feel better. It made me feel better. By the only measure that mattered, it was a success.
But every year in the United States, there are about 30,000 stillbirths, and in many of those cases there are big brothers and sisters whose expectations are crushed. I wanted there to be a book for those children, too. So, I began shopping my manuscript around. And while I knew it would be the toughest of sells, I found it surprisingly therapeutic to let editors know what had happened to my family.
The rejections I received were kinder and more empathetic than usual. “It’s a worthy subject, but just too sad” is how I remember one typical reply. After a while, I stopped sending the manuscript out. I probably haven’t submitted it in at least a year and a half. But the need — the need in me to share my story, the need for families unlucky in this singularly horrible way to know that they aren’t alone — is still there.
That’s why I’ve dusted the manuscript off, but now I’m nervous about what will happen next. What if my rational, objective reader thinks the piece has potential? Am I really prepared to reacquaint myself with the intense pain that yielded the story in the first place? And what if she thinks that this manuscript is best placed gently back on the shelf? What if that comes as a relief? What would that say about me?
Hi Chris,
While certainly heartwrenching, I disagree that there’s any subject “too sad” for a children’s book. It’s all in how it’s handled. There’s a house, Albert Whitman, based in Morton Grove, Illinois, that has a nice repuation for publishing bibliotherapy books. They are able to connect with readers, retailers, and librarians nationally. Perhaps they might be a fit for your manuscript?
In Sympathy and Friendship,
Cyn
Hi Chris,
While certainly heartwrenching, I disagree that there’s any subject “too sad” for a children’s book. It’s all in how it’s handled. There’s a house, Albert Whitman, based in Morton Grove, Illinois, that has a nice repuation for publishing bibliotherapy books. They are able to connect with readers, retailers, and librarians nationally. Perhaps they might be a fit for your manuscript?
In Sympathy and Friendship,
Cyn
Hi Chris,
While certainly heartwrenching, I disagree that there’s any subject “too sad” for a children’s book. It’s all in how it’s handled. There’s a house, Albert Whitman, based in Morton Grove, Illinois, that has a nice repuation for publishing bibliotherapy books. They are able to connect with readers, retailers, and librarians nationally. Perhaps they might be a fit for your manuscript?
In Sympathy and Friendship,
Cyn
Albert Whitman came to mind as I was reading your post, Chris. They’ve handled a number of sensitive subjects with grace.
And, no, I don’t believe your story would be too intense for young readers. Emotions are emotions whether they’re experienced by adults or children. Yes, grief can be intense and overwhelming, but sheltering a child from pain by not telling the story seems counterproductive and unfair.
A book like the one you’ve described would honor a child’s right to grieve and feel pain, and would help name the emotions he and his family might be feeling. I’d think parents grappling with such a loss would be grateful for such a book. With it they might open up the dialogue necessary to travel through their grief so that they might begin healing.
As for pursuing the project, trust your gut. Seems to me your willingness to share the manuscript with your agent is an indication that some part of you is ready to mine the emotions needed to do the story justice.
Albert Whitman came to mind as I was reading your post, Chris. They’ve handled a number of sensitive subjects with grace.
And, no, I don’t believe your story would be too intense for young readers. Emotions are emotions whether they’re experienced by adults or children. Yes, grief can be intense and overwhelming, but sheltering a child from pain by not telling the story seems counterproductive and unfair.
A book like the one you’ve described would honor a child’s right to grieve and feel pain, and would help name the emotions he and his family might be feeling. I’d think parents grappling with such a loss would be grateful for such a book. With it they might open up the dialogue necessary to travel through their grief so that they might begin healing.
As for pursuing the project, trust your gut. Seems to me your willingness to share the manuscript with your agent is an indication that some part of you is ready to mine the emotions needed to do the story justice.
Albert Whitman came to mind as I was reading your post, Chris. They’ve handled a number of sensitive subjects with grace.
And, no, I don’t believe your story would be too intense for young readers. Emotions are emotions whether they’re experienced by adults or children. Yes, grief can be intense and overwhelming, but sheltering a child from pain by not telling the story seems counterproductive and unfair.
A book like the one you’ve described would honor a child’s right to grieve and feel pain, and would help name the emotions he and his family might be feeling. I’d think parents grappling with such a loss would be grateful for such a book. With it they might open up the dialogue necessary to travel through their grief so that they might begin healing.
As for pursuing the project, trust your gut. Seems to me your willingness to share the manuscript with your agent is an indication that some part of you is ready to mine the emotions needed to do the story justice.
Chris,
I hope you find a place for this manuscript. It sounds like a story that needs to be told.
And thank you for sharing something so personal with us. It’s things like this that remind me why we write.
Chris,
I hope you find a place for this manuscript. It sounds like a story that needs to be told.
And thank you for sharing something so personal with us. It’s things like this that remind me why we write.
Chris,
I hope you find a place for this manuscript. It sounds like a story that needs to be told.
And thank you for sharing something so personal with us. It’s things like this that remind me why we write.
Chris,
Cynthia and Kim have given you some good advice. I don’t think you’re crazy for reexamining this manuscript. It seems to me that there’s definitely a place for this book.
I’m sorry this happened in your family.
Kelly
Chris,
Cynthia and Kim have given you some good advice. I don’t think you’re crazy for reexamining this manuscript. It seems to me that there’s definitely a place for this book.
I’m sorry this happened in your family.
Kelly
Chris,
Cynthia and Kim have given you some good advice. I don’t think you’re crazy for reexamining this manuscript. It seems to me that there’s definitely a place for this book.
I’m sorry this happened in your family.
Kelly
What it says about you ,chris, is that you are not only a great author but a loving dad. I think there is definitely a place in the market for a book like this. Reality IS sad but it’s also a comfort to those that are going through it. There needs to be something on the shelves to address this.
I have never had to experience this but I can relate it to having a child that is severely disabled. My other two children have had to go through such varied emotions regarding it and I’ve yet to find a book that really tackles the situation well. Yes…I know…something for me to think about for a future project myself I suppose. Hard, though, when I focus on illustrating the lighter side of life.
Great post, Chris! Magination press came to mind when I read your post.
What it says about you ,chris, is that you are not only a great author but a loving dad. I think there is definitely a place in the market for a book like this. Reality IS sad but it’s also a comfort to those that are going through it. There needs to be something on the shelves to address this.
I have never had to experience this but I can relate it to having a child that is severely disabled. My other two children have had to go through such varied emotions regarding it and I’ve yet to find a book that really tackles the situation well. Yes…I know…something for me to think about for a future project myself I suppose. Hard, though, when I focus on illustrating the lighter side of life.
Great post, Chris! Magination press came to mind when I read your post.
What it says about you ,chris, is that you are not only a great author but a loving dad. I think there is definitely a place in the market for a book like this. Reality IS sad but it’s also a comfort to those that are going through it. There needs to be something on the shelves to address this.
I have never had to experience this but I can relate it to having a child that is severely disabled. My other two children have had to go through such varied emotions regarding it and I’ve yet to find a book that really tackles the situation well. Yes…I know…something for me to think about for a future project myself I suppose. Hard, though, when I focus on illustrating the lighter side of life.
Great post, Chris! Magination press came to mind when I read your post.